Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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