I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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