i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
