i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
