I accidentally had phone sex last night
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
