if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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