you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Damn victory sex feels great
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
