I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
