you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
