Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
