your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
