I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
They have beer where we have blood.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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