i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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