Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
