Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
