i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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