Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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