You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
