Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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