haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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