I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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