When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Every concussion has its silver lining
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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