My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
