lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
