my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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