no, he came in my armpit
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
