Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
