New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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