I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
