Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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