Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize