and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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