i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize