I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
