Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize