He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
