it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
