Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
