I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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