Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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