you turned your livingroom into a bong?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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