even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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