Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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