i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
