I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
