I'm lost and stupid without you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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