If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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