Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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