No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
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his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
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