That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
