Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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