And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
