then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It's just like the Real World with babies
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
