forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
