I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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