She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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