you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
